In the Mood
I was watching the news a while ago and saw Eddie Gil having a recording session. First, he wanted to be a president, then, he moved to become a comedy actor, now, a recording artist?! What's with that guy? Is he... on drugs or something? I don't mean to be rude, but he's really funny! And his hair is funny too! ^_^
Well, I saw him a while ago, he didn't notice me... *sob...* But it's okay... Why is it that even now, when I see him, it hurts? Hay... Tama na nga! Senti-senti na ang Euri.. I'm ruining my own mood! I met up with Bessy kanina! :D She treated me squid balls, kikiam and gulaman (favorite snack? :D) Then after, she met up with her BF and I left (don't want to disturb... :D) them. I went home after that and watched Naruto.
Spritual Dilema?
Yesterday, we went to manila for our passport. We left early morning at about 6 AM we arrived at about 8 or so and we went to my mom's friend who was working for DFA (Department of Foreign Affairs) to help us out processing the passport, we finished at around 12 PM and went to SM North Edsa Food court to eat. We stayed there until about 8 PM. What did we do there? Well, my mom's had this meeting with her busines collegues there. I don't know why there... The fun part there was where I got to go to Comics Alley (my favorite shop! :D) to look for new anime arrival stuffs. I couldn't find any nice thing to buy so I left the shop and went back down the food court. I had drunk 2 cups of brewed coffee, still, I was sleepy. I ate a lot of food too. :D You can't blame me, the food was great and I had nothing to do... Sana nga lang, tumaba ang Euri :D *lol*!
I was with Bessy this afternoon (hey! I saw Chette at the mall! ...with Philip!! *crazy grin* :D) I was helping her out to buy CHOC NUT!! She was funny! We searched all over just for that CHOC NUT. She said she wanted to eat chocolates but she can't bite them because her braces were just recently adjusted so it's still painful and the CHOC NUT is a soft chocolate to eat?? O_o
Yes, you could see me happy all day but I couldn't understand myself. I've been weird lately. I don't know what the heck's wrong with me. I couldn't sleep early, I'm always thinking of nothing at all, I look serious, easily irritated by anyone, etc... I don't know... Whenever I see the Sto. Rosario church (near our school), I wanted to go in but when I'm about too, I just turned around, changed my mind and leave. If I would count how many times I tried to go to church, I only entered a church for about 5 times (this are different churches some at Binondo, Lourdes, and Sto rosaio parish churches). I went once to attend a wedding, once for a baptismal ceremony also, once to a mass because it is required, I attended one mass an a parade for a saint or prosisisyon (is this right?) as they call it because it is required also, and I entered the church only once of my own accord. I was with Noemi that day. She said she want a piece of mind there to get a way from family problems she always have. I took the invitation because of my curiosity of what was inside a church. Btw, just wanted to ask, what is the holy water for and why do thay need to put some on to their forehead? Anyway, continuing, that was the last time I went to church. I never did since then, I think it was three years ago?
Now that I think of it, naguguluhan pa rin ako... Ewan ko nga ba. I think, te Chette was right when she said I just needed the proper time. But, when is that proper time? What if that proper time never came? Will I survive this dilema? What will become of me after it? Will I regret my choice when it comes? Hay... ang dami ko namang tanong... Hindi ko talaga alam gagawin ko. Tapos na nga ko sa Eternal Dilema (personality and identity crisis) eh... Eto naman sumunod. I was living a not so good life before na hindi ko naman iniisip to. I'm still living in a not so good life and naguguluhan pa ko. Ano ba to!! Pero, kahit papano, nakakatulong din 'tong blog sa'kin and the forums. People give me advices whenever I need one, reads whatever I write and even if people don't read what I wrote, at least nailalabas ko diba? And I'm very thankful for that naman. Sana nga lang, matapos na ako dito. It was raining hard tonight. I better shut this off... Baka kung ano pang mangyari sa computer ko...
The Start of SY '04-'05
Still working with the new layout. This is tough. I had edit every single file. And in some files, I had to re-create them from the start. I had so much to do in little time. I wanted to finished this beforeJune arrives. Anyway, I went to school early morining. It's the start of a new school year for us. Guess what, I don't have a single classmate and the teacher's nowhere in sight too. I guess I should expect that on the first day. I bought a new pendant this morning. I lost my favorite pendant so I bought one again. The pendant I bought wasn't like the one before. I don't know what stone that is while my past pendant was an Onyx. I need to research first. Anyway, I will be going to Manila again tomorrow. We'll be leaving about 5:30 AM so I need to sleep early today.
What Happens When the Dark Enters the Light?
Chette Posted:
EURI - Eto tanong ko lang... What happens when a Light enters the dark? What's the answer? And.. after you answer that, Answer this one too... Now.. What happens when the dark enters the Light?
My reply:
Before answering, why the questions? I really didn't get these questions right so there would be possibilities that my answers would be quite... unrelated...?? The first question was What happens when a Light enters dark? If you would take it in literal meaning, my answer would be, the light will still shine in the dark. Assuming that a small matched lighted in a cold dark room, that match would provide a little light and warmth in that cold, dark room. But the darkness might swallow that tiny bit of light afterwards. And the second question was, What happens when the dark enters the Light? Taking into literal meaning as well, if the dark would enter the light, the darkness would fade. Did I answer the question? If I did, would you answer my question too? Assuming that the light is a person's hope of faith and the dark is the other way around, and a person is in the middle of the way to light and dark. Then, that person chose the darkness, and totally lost that light, is there any possibility that that light would shine again?
This was also taken from her blog:
Answer: "What are the most common problems why these Christian leaves Jesus?"
1. Other Christians set a bad example and feeling not welcome
2. Selfish desires. "I lead my own life and I won't depend on God"
3. Really hard to live a life with God. (persecutions... etc...)
Yes, I agree, somehow, these are some of the reasons people usually have. But to me, it is something more to it than meets the eye. I didn't left Christianity because of these reasons. Even if you aren't a Christian, life is still hard - not just hard, but harder. If you're a Christian, you still have someone to cling on to when you have problems, you could just kneel down and pray to lessen the pains a bit and pretend that someone out there is watching you. But if you have no god, it is harder because whenever you fall, you have to pick yourself up all alone and people wont be there the comfort you because you're weird. I left not because I wanted to lead my own life. I left because there are times when you have to wake up and just stop pretending.
Wounds
This morning I left at about 6AM I went to Pangasinan. I arrived at about 9am I feel very sleepy the whole time. I helped my mom around a bit there. I wont go over the details because I'm already tired. When it was about 3 PM or so, we left to return here in Angeles. I arrived at about 6 PM then, I ate and watched the news and see what's happening at the Election's Quick Count (quick na yung lagay na yun... :D) that isn't quick at all. After, I thought of not writing today and just listen to muic until I sleep. But while I was listening, I remembered something sad...
You see, Lell had this stupid attitude of his again and had a small argument with Khei and that small argument turned big again... I remembered when he texted me and nag-senti-senti siya... I was laughing at that moment. Pinagtatawanan ko siya but then, bigla akong naawa nung sabihin niya na "Baka nga hindi na bumalik yung dating friendship namin. Kasalana ko kasi." I remembered when I keep repeating the phrase to them both, "When you have a glass and it fell to the ground and got broken, you can never bring the same pieces back together when it was new." I don't mean to totally break their friendship but as far as I can see, they can never bring it back again. They're strong bond that was always there wasn't there anymore. They were both my friend but even if, I can't help them. I tried to fix things for them pero wala talaga. Kusa na silang lumalayo sa isa't-isa. Hindi ko alam kung bakit but everytime she's making moves to fix things he either refuse it or guluhin lalo yung situation. I guess somehow, naiiintindihan ko siya pero mahirap talagang i-explain yung line of thingking niya. Magulo. Ewan ko ba. Aawayin niya tapos, iiyak-iyak siya afterwards. Everytime na she gets hurt, he gets the same twice as much. I remember nung naging sila, he pretends to be happy everyday cracking stupid, corny jokes over and over again everyday to comfort himself off the pain. I saw him cry not once, twice but several times already. Nakakaawa talaga siya. Whenever her BF hurts her, sa kanya siya tumatakbo... Bagay na bagay nga sa kanya yung song na "Kung Ako Na Lang Sana" by Bituin Escalante. Kaya lang wala talaga eh... Mas masakit nung nalaman niyang she also loves him but she loves her BF more and of course, she can't love him back. Para siyang pinagbagsakan ng lagit at lupa nun. He changed a lot just for her. He don't smoke and drink anymore just because of her... Parang to show her how he loves her. Then, sa sobrang sakit, hindi na niya yata nakayanan ang he tried to smoke again and show her, he smokes again. This was stupid! What he did was stupid!! She got angry with him after seeing it. Yun naman talaga yung gusto niya. Gusto niya na magalit yung girl sa kanya ng todo-todo as in sinusumpa na siya sa galit. Why? I WILL EXPLAIN!! (I felt the same thing when he left me... *sob* *sob*) In my view, gusto niyang everytime na makikita niya yung girl, may sinasabing bad yung girl sa kanya and he wanted to hear it from her mismo. Of course, masakit yun but it doesn't even compare a bit of what pain he was feeling at that moment. He's in the middle of a dilema na iisa lang ang kapupuntahan. That is losing her. He chose to forget her pero hindi niya daw kaya so he tried to stay and absorb every bit of pain and eventually, sumuko din siya. He goes out with other girls just to forget her pero wala pa rin. I you would ask me, sana pinabayaan na lang ni Khei na umiwas siya. Kasi kahit anong gawin nila, wala na rin yung friendship nila eh. Lalo lang niyang pinahihirapan yung situation. She already chose between her BF and him. And he chose her BF that time. With that, it is only natural that she would lose the other one right? It's the rule, you chose one, you lose one. You choose both, you'll lose both. You choose neither, both will stay but you'll lose the love. Sabi nga nila "Time heals all wounds." I admit that my wounds hadn't healed totally.Whenever I see him, my wounds bleeds thought not as much as it did. I'm hoping this wound would heal someday... I know that the scar this wound will left me would stay with me through eternity.I think in time, his wounds would heal as well, but it would take a long long time.
Great Day!
Wondering why? This morning, I went to AMA to get my grades. And guess what?! I PASSED!! Yey!! My lowest grade is 2.5 :D Not high? Yeah! I know. I'm just an average student with an average grade you know... It doesn't matter to me if my grades are that low. But I will torture myself to grave studying if my grade turns out to be 3 flat. When I entered college I planned to have grades not higher than 2.5 but since I got a 2.75 at my 2 Calculi, my target grade should not be less than that. From now on, I could already upload my files at home because my bro's PC is already done. I was writing again this afternoon, continuing my Amdis Anima. I only write when I finds the time as well as I'm in the mood to. So that what I'm writing wouldn't turn out senseless...
And another thing, a while ago, I ate my favorite PIZZA!!
Oh! I've added a midi player above. You could select songs you want ^_^
Know what, election here in the Philippines is near. I wanted to share this funny cartoons of the presidential candidates. It was sent to me by ya Zep (a school mate) last month...
The 2004 Presidentials!
Played WA3
Well, nothing's new today, just like it was yesterday... I was playing PS2 again and started Chapter 4 of the WA3. It started with a celebration after defeating Seigfreid. then, Shane and Jet had a little talk and Shane's dream-child (the dream-demon from his dreams) appeared before him and poisoned his mind and here's my new adventure. I continued to play the game and learned that Werner (Virginia's father) really died 10 years ago at the Yggdrazil tragedy (as expected) and Werner they're seeing wasn't a human at all but something like an illusion of him (something like a spirit but materialized one) made out of his memories and the Hyades (a knowledge from demons). He was chasing Beatrice (the dream-demon child from Shane's dreams) and try to stop her from re-creating their world. To me, this storyline is a typical RPG storyline that I always play - saving the world from bad demons.
If I were to put this in real life, I could say that this is also a typical life story for a lot of people. Finding who they really are and their purpose in living. I wanted to share a little story. I leave it to your judgment.
There are things in this world that exists - this things may seem "just a myth" to others but to some, they believe this as their very LIFE itself. Few have known this, fewer have the chance to obtain it and only a handful had the chance to get out. It feels nice to read a story that ends with "...and they live happily ever after." But for some story, the word "happiness" don't exists. These are the once who lived in the shadows of the Immortal Souls. Few had survived this, and lucky are those who survived and still has the strength to move on. But for others who survived, their lost in their own world.
Away to Oblivion
It was much like this same night
When I helplessly broke myself down and cried,
The cold shadows of the night
Filled this endless emptiness inside.
Wishing you would be back
Wishing your arms to hold me again
As I cried myself to sleep,
You're still in my dreams.
Whenever I wake up,
I think of you.
Why did you leave?
What have I done wrong?
I gave you everything you asked
Still, it's not enough
I gave up everything for your happiness
Still, you left me.
Where's the promise you gave me?
The promise that you wouldn't leave.
Had the wind blew it away to another's heart
Or the waters washed it away to oblivion?
I Want to Watch Again
Noemi and I were supposed to meet each other at 10 this morning but I asked her to move it to 11 because I just woke up at 10. :-P She said yes. So, the usual, I ate breakfast, drink my medicine, (I remembered to take it today, Yey!), take a bath (of course! - I know someone who doesn't! hehe!! Shh... I wont tell...) and put my dirty clothes in the washing machine.
While I was waiting for her to arrive, I uploaded the rest of my site at PCV and read te Chette's latest entry (her site's working na!) and some of Enob-X's. When she arrived, we ate and wet straight to HAU to get her orientation schedule. And after, we went to Nepo Mall to buy scented oil and candles and we saw her ex there - working. And then, we went straight home.
I surfed the net, downloaded some brushes for my Adobe Photoshop and read the rest of Enob-X's entries as soon as I got home. After, I watched my currently favorite anime series, Naruto. Why Naruto? I like ninjas and stuffs with all that chakra (am I right?) things and of course, SASUKE!! I wanted to watch a lot of anime again and again like Card Captor Sakura (because YUKITO's cute!!), Shaman King (I like Hao...), Ayashi no Ceres (Tooya!! Tooya!!), Vampire Mistress Miyu (I love Larva's eyes...) and so on.. (This entry would be very long if I mentioned everything...) Btw, anyone knows where can I get a copy of "Video Girl Ai" and "Sora wa Akai Kawa no Hotori"? I'm getting a hard time finding them. They're old mangas na kasi eh... I wonder where I could get them?
For Real
As you know, I already have several free blogs and I was planning to cancel each and every service from now on. I'm planning on having one for real. I haven't deleted them yet. Maybe not, may be yesI'm going to move my entries here first before I do. I wanted to make my journal something like this I can do whatever I want, add whatever I want etc. And I'm also getting practices. In free blog host, your account is only limited and if I pay for the service, and I'm not into paying. :P
Nothing much happened today. I was just making this and finally finished it! Yey! I took another quiz. The result and title of the quiz is below.
You are Sanzo from Saiyuki
You are supposed to be a holy man but you smoke,
drink, gamble, cuss, fight, and kill without
the slightest trace of remorse. Other people
annoy you, along with pretty much everything
else in the world that doesn't go your way.
You have no qualms about using force to get
what you desire and have on numerous occasions
brushed others aside to accommodate yourself.
At least you know without doubt exactly what
you want, and you'll get it even if you have to
shoot every goddamn idiot in your way. Sadly
for your ammunition, there seem to be quite a
few of those around.
Which Potentially Deranged and Dysfunctional Anime Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
OF ALL ANIME CHARACTER WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE HIM!! Hey! I watched this and I know who he IS! I like the story but I certainly do not like him. I mean, he looks nice, but the priest thing doesn't suit him with that attitude! He is... uhh... eh... ahem... ahem.. uhh... never mind. (But I kinda like his grumpy attitude sometimes...) My most favorite thing about him is he doesn't like rain. Because his foster father (he's predecessor - also a priest) died in one stormy night.
Euri (yu-ri) is a unique specie of the 
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