Bessy's 18th Birthday
Today is Bessy's Birthday and I couldn't even greet her because I lost my phone and I have no other contacts of her... And I'm also not sure if she's home. And I wouldn't try to go to their house not telling her first. It's because of her stupid idea of using me so that she and her boyfriend could see each other. Now, I can't even get even a mile near their house without informing her first because I might screw everything up and her father would found out that she's meeting with that guy and she can't. Her mother already knew and it's okay. I wonder what would his father do to the guy? Chase him with a Samurai sword at his right hand and an ax at the left? LOLs! Thinking of it makes me laugh hard!! Maybe I'll just greet her on her debut party. Now, what would I give her then? *thinks* Still haven't thought of it. I better figure out something or else I will end up giver her a teddy bear again (she seems to like them though...)
I'm Broke
Just arrived from Manila. We're supposed to be going to Subic tomorrow but my brother said he doesn't want to. I think it's because he bought a lot of anime CDs this day and he plans on watching them all tomorrow. I had bought my Yami no Matsuei! Yey! They reserved one just for me! I spend some of my money buying CDs. And lost the remaining which cost 3x the amount I spent for the CDs I bought. Someone stole it from pocket unknowingly while we were walking around a place full of people. *sigh* I always lose money... I'm getting a bit broke lately due to this.
The Pagans at Ancient Roman Period
I just watched the movie King Arthur. The version of that story was based on history and is not like the original Arthurian Legends which is both fictional and mythical. I really don't get why Romans of the ancient times gets easily carried away with their beliefs which are mostly mislead... Remembered when my CF teacher told us a story when Christians were burned to death, crucified, fed to lions etc. by the Romans back then before their emperor, the one who introduced them to Christianity, sat to the throne (can't remember which emperor was that... So many names in the Bible to remember them all... :P). But there came a time, the Romans had fully accepted Christianity as their religion, and they tried to expand their empire through Britain (this was around 300 A.D. if my memory serves me right). Even though it's other way around, still, the same brutality was shown and even more inhuman than before. Pagans and non-believers were tortured and treated as slaves by Romans in their own land simply because they do not believe in the Christian God. As I watched the movie, I really felt pity for those British who were brutally whipped until they bathe in their own blood, tied up and jailed in deep dark dungeons without even a drop of water after the long and tiring day out on the hot field planting crops and serving a Bishop that orders their death after they had given their worth. Then I thought, what if I was living at that era? Would I survive even a day of that torture? Even if I would, I would probably be dead even before I reached the age of 10. Sometimes, when given so much power, we really get out of hand...
Btw, CF is Christian Formation. One of my subjects in high school. This is because my mom enrolled me at a Catholic University. Hey! Don't look at me like that! Even though I'm not a Christian, I still know a thing or two about Christianity and it's history. And since the words ANCIENT HISTORY is present, expect me to be attentive at the subject.
Atheism != Satanism!!
Atheism != Satanism!! *stressing!*
People change, things change everything changes. The only thing that doesn't change is Change per se. I had changed so much as I see myself now. I'm not the usual quiet person you had always known me for anymore. The one that always agrees and agrees and keeps everything to herself and never utter a word. I'm standing up for my own beliefs now, and I had learned to fight.
I just wanted to make it clear to you that I had never, even once in my life, met, saw or even talked to Satan at any way. Denied my master? Are you claiming that I'm a Satanist? You of all people should know better that I'm an Atheist. Not a Satanist. I do not believe that God existed nor any divine deity. And that fact goes the same with Satan.
"Atheists claim God is unproved, not disproved." - Refuting God, Chapter 17, Losing Faith In Faith: From Preacher To Atheist by Dan Barker.
My Personal Point of View
I would like to take this opportunity to explain myself on the comments I had read a while ago... I guess for me it was no surprise to receive comments as such. I already anticipated those ahead of time.
I'm not insisting on this but I just wanted to explain my side. Try thinking about this for a while... Most people believe in a divine being such as Christian God because they need something to explain things such as how the world was created, who created this and that, etc. Remember in our history, it states that ancient people created their own gods and goddesses to explain how things came to be. How does that any different from the Christian God? How sure are Christians that those "few inspired" people who wrote the Bible didn't just created it for reasons like they need some divine being to hold on or to look up to. Like the Greek gods and goddesses, that were merely created by humans as most claims it to be, possess humanistic behaviors such as inconsistency and unjust. And so does the Christian God. Does this explains the statement "G-d created man in his own image and likeness" (Gen 1:27) or the statement humans created God with their own image and likeness? It seems to me that it explains more of the humans creating their own divinity. How come you say God is insistent? When you read the Bible and try to understand it, the Old Testament would basically tell you to follow the set of rules that God laid (ten commandments). And as you go on reading and understanding this literary piece, you would realize that the New Testament would tell you not to believe the Old Testament's law. Which is which then? You would tell not to take it as how I read it rather, I must look for it's deeper meaning instead. If I would take it that way, the unjust part comes. Why unjust? God tells us humans not to commit crimes but he himself commit it. What exactly are these crimes you ask? He stated not to kill, but he force you to do what he wants, if not, you'll be burned to death. In lay man's term, he'll kill you. He also stated not to steal but he steals your freedom. Yes, you might say that he gave us our free will. But knowing that a punishment exist behind a free will, you will be forced to do things not what you think is right rather, what you think he think is right. For example, your father said that you can go out on Friday night but if you do, he'll cut your allowance for the next month to half. Would you still go out then? You would think of going out but since the punishment of cutting your allowance is present, you won't go out. Where is the free will there then?
I had written these were on my own accord and no one pushed me to left these words. Again, these were all of my pure personal point of view and I do not force them on anyone.
Late Update
My site's not on a hiatus. I just couldn't upload my entries, read blogs, visit sites as well as check my mails these past few days because I'm out of town and our internet connection is jammed as well. Something's wrong with our internet host's server... I need to get to an internet cafe first to do so. You don't need to read all that I had written these past few days. Reading this one is enough. I still haven't thought of a good layout... I wanted to change this one and fix a lot. I think changing it would cost me two days straight. And still don't know how the heck would I upload. My computer's still under immense break down. It sounds so much trouble doesn't it? This started when I was working with my case study and use the computer 24 hours straight for 3 days. *sigh* Now, it doesn't work well because of that and it really does need an upgrade. My mom said she would send me money for my computer. :D I really wished it will be enough. I wanted to change my mouse to black also (but I want it optical like my current one) so my entire computer would be black. My mouse was the only one with a white color. Even my entire room is already black since I moved here from Manila. (My room in Manila isn't black though because my grandmother is a Buddhist and is very superstitious.) But since "needs first before wants" is one of our major house rules, I'll have to wait. This also the reason why I still don't have a digi-cam of my own and a new scanner since my old one broke down. I still don't have a new cellphone also. Because I chose to upgrade my computer first before buying a new cellphone. *sigh* So much to buy... But, I'll get through.
Watched a lot of anime lately because I have nothing to do at home. I bought my own Weiss Kreuz Gluben Series! The X: An Omen that I bought doesn't work. I think I'll have to return it as soon as I got back to Manila. And that would be... next week perhaps. I haven't really thought of a good layout I wonder why... I'm losing my artistic ability lately.
Acquaintance Party AY '04-'05
I haven't the chance to journalize last night. I arrived home at around 02:00AM. I arrived there a bit late because I forgot my stub. I thought I couldn't go in without it. But things went smoothly then after. It's at Greenville Grand Hall, Dau, Mabalacat, Pampanga. Honestly, I really don't know where that is also so don't bother asking me where. I just copied the location from the weavers they gave out. Btw, I used my younger bro's cell phone cam to take these pictures. The place was nice but I was a bit disappointed of it though. I expected a much bigger place than that. The place is full of people and you can't even move right because it's too crowded. The chairs aren't enough also that resulted to most of us who came late, left standing at the back. But even though some things there are beautiful. The very first thing that caught my attention upon arriving was the breath-taking fountain at the entrance. I even bothered to take a picture of it. We watched a few programs and ate. I don't quite like our food also. Aside from the fact that it doesn't taste good, the meat is hard to eat. I also couldn't enjoy much of the party because I'm worrying sick of how the hell would I go home! I asked my brother's friend if they would go somewhere else after the party and then, he said yes. So, I couldn't count on my brother to send me home. I thought of going home alone. It doesn't matter to me, I'm used to it. But then, I thought, I don't even know how to get home. The place is quite a bit far from my home and it's already passed midnight so there are not much of transportation. So I have to walk and I don't want to walk down the street at home. I will feel like an idiot walking all alone in the street at that time wearing that! Then I asked few friends but their going to sleep over another friend and before that, they'll go somewhere else also. So, again, I sat by a corner of the hall and then, saw Randy-kun! I had a little chat with him about him in the school organ or something and then I asked him how will he go home. He said he's planning on hangging around at some coffee shop until 05:00 in the morning. Then, I asked where will he go before going at the coffee shop. He said, he doesn't know. Then, I asked him will he send me home? Then he agreed. Yey! He sent me home and and he left as soon as I got home. I took a bath and went to sleep.
Weird Dreams
For a week, I had been dreaming of these things...
I was tied and hanged up in some place I don't recognize. It seemed like a dungeon though. I was beaten up almost to death. But then, luckily, I woke up before I had died in my dream. It's quite frightening. It seemed so real. Then, the next day, I dreamt that I was chased by an entire chivalry of full-geared knights to the end of a cliff and fell off. I was expecting someone to catch me but no one did. Then, I woke up. The next night after that, I had dreamt that I was finally conscious from my fall and my head was bleeding and my body, full of bruises. I walked pass a forest that seemed never ending and then I lost consciousness again. that's the time I woke up.
I Lost My Cell Phone Again
This morning, I skipped my first subject, Art Appreciation, just to go home and find my cell phone. I knew I dropped it off at the tricycle I rode going to school. But I still took the 10% change that I just left it home at my room. When I got home, it isn't there. So I tried to look for the tricycle but it was gone. I was trying to call my phone hoping the tricycle driver would hear it ring and return the phone to me but it was shut off. I spent my whole allowance for the day just going back and forth our subdivision looking for the driver and asking the people if they knew who the driver was. (Now I'm kind of short on cash. *cries*) A kind tricycle driver informed me that he was a service of one of our neighbors. Then I went to our neighbors house to ask. Our neighbor said she would ask but she doesn't want to give me the assurance that he would give the phone back. "What if he denied that you left it at his tricycle?" she said. Then again, as time passes, I grew tired and lost hope of finding my phone. This was not my first. This was about the sixth one I had. I don't know if my mom would buy one again for me... speaking of cell phones. Jem's cell phone was snatched last Sunday and I saw someone snatched a cell phone last Saturday. The snatched was seating in from of me and I saw him snatched his seatmate's phone. I guess he noticed that I saw what he did so he rushed down off the jeepney. Bessy was so socked and scared to see such incident. Then she asked me why the heck am I still calm after those things we saw. I replied, "Would worrying about it will keep the snatcher from snatching more phones? If it would I will be most glad to worry about it everyday." I applied this same thing to keep myself calmed down a while ago when I lost my phone. Worry about my lost phone wouldn't get it back to me, and moreover, it would only cause me much stress. I'm too stressed out from all my works and I'm so much busy this days. *sigh* Here I am again, sighing... I really missed my phone a lot.
Sinners
I remembered how I tried so hard to tell every one this and that but no matter how hard I try they won't even listen to what I have to say because I'm not a Christian, therefore, I'm demonic. And when Christians listen to demonic people, they sin in the eyes of their God? Then, I thought to myself, "Great! This is what you get for trying to tell people they're wrong about you and you also deserve some damn respect from them even though you're not a Christian." Because of most Christians that always puts me down (well, they call themselves Christians) I lost my faith on myself and I always thought that I'm worthless. I tried to become a Christian to understand them. When I became one, it was then that I realized that they were the ones who are wrong, not me. I then thought, "So what is it if I'm not a Christian? Is being one the measurement of people's morality or righteousness? Are Christians the good ones and the non-Christians, the evil? No. Because I'm better than those people who claim themselves as one on which they themselves commit sin while trying too hard to avoid it. We are all sinners, no matter how hard you try to deny it.
Euri (yu-ri) is a unique specie of the 
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